El Día de un Friki



Los frikis son por muchos considerados seres antisociales, de vidas aburridas, habitantes de la penumbra encerrados en su mundo de fantasía cuyo nulo contacto con el exterior les ha llevado a desarrollar una tez vampírica de la que se sienten orgullosos. Personas a las que Internet les ha solucionado el problema de combustir calorías para bajar a comprar comics a la tienda de la esquina. Sin embargo; esto no tiene por que ser así. Un friki puede tener una vida de lo más apasionante. Aquí tienes un buen ejemplo de lo interesante que puede ser el día de un friki, que debes tomar como modelo a seguir:

7:45 Te levantas con el sonido del opening de Rurouni Kenshin, previamente programado en tu minicadena para despertarte motivado.
8:00 Realizas algunos ejercicios (flexiones, abdominales, etc...) a la vez que escuchas música de animes o videojuegos que acentúen tu afán de superación al recordar lo mucho que se esforzaban los personajes de esas series en sus duros entrenamientos.
8:15 Te cansas, y te consuelas pensando que Goku era saiyano y tu humano, y que tienes tus limitaciones. Vas a la ducha.
8:20 Te duchas mientras tarareas a voz en grito la musiquilla del himno de la Rebelión de Star Wars, con una agudez inversamente proporcional a la temperatura del agua.
8:30 Sales de la ducha, y te pones el albornoz con capucha que te compraste. Dejas el suelo empapado en tu camino hacia el espejo, ante el cual te miras satisfecho por tus pintas de Jedi, y haces algún movimiento con un sable láser imaginario, empapando también el espejo.
8:35 Después de estos cinco minutos de desplegar tus habilidades frente al espejo, te diriges hacia tu cuarto todavía con el albornoz puesto, agachando la cabeza para que la capucha tape tus ojos con deje de Emperador cada vez que te cruces a algún familiar/mascota por el pasillo.
8:40 Te diriges a la cocina después de vestirte apropiadamente con una camiseta de Cowboy Bebop. Abres un paquete nuevo de cereales y metes la mano en la bolsa para buscar el sable láser en miniatura que regalan. Ves que te ha salido el de Mace Windu por tercera vez, y enfurecido como estás, le echas la culpa a Bill Gates. Como se te han quitado las ganas de comer cereales, te aprietas un trozo de tortilla de patata que sobró de la cena del día anterior y te vas en patines al instituto.
9:05 Llegas al instituto con cinco minutos de retraso, porque te entretuviste intentando hacer unos trucos con los patines en un banco del parque. Al preguntarte la profesora de historia que porqué llegas tarde, le replicas que un mago no llega tarde ni pronto, llega justamente cuando se lo propone. Pasas el resto de la hora en el pasillo. Menos mal que trajiste la DS en la cartera.
9:55 Esperas a tu amigo friki a la salida de clase, y al veros, os saludáis con un choque de manos cuya coreografía tardasteis dos días en desarrollar y practicar. Os dirigís hacia el aula que os toca mientras habláis de las noticias publicadas la tarde anterior en Meristation.
10:00 Tu profesor de física entra en el aula. Todavía no entiende porqué le llamas Sensei.
11:40 Hora del recreo. Te echas unas partidillas de Magic en algún aula vacía mientras charlas con tus colegas usando la jerga de Yoda.
12:10 Vuelta a clase. Decides que eso es para pardillos, y te haces una escapadita a practicar malabares en el césped del parque.
13:00 Vuelves a clase, donde pasas el resto de las horas dando vueltas al boli sobre el dedo (actividad que has llegado a considerar un arte), pintando dibujos en la mesa (algunos resultan tan buenos que les haces fotos) y escribiendo cosas tan absurdas como un Manual del Friki.
14:50 Sales de clase y te vas a tu casa a comer, despidiéndote de tus colegas con un “que la Fuerza te acompañe” o “datte bayo”.
14:55 Llegas a tu casa, despeinado por la leche que has llegado a coger con los patines. Al entrar, gritas : ”¡Bilma, ya estoy en casa!”
15:00 Tu madre te planta un plato de lentejas con chorizo.
15:02 Tu madre te arroja un trozo de pan duro a la cabeza tras tus infructuosos intentos de comerte las lentejas con palillos.
15:10 Te quedas absorto mirando el kiwi partido por la mitad que te vas a comer y pensando si el universo es finito.
15:30 Te echas una siestecita, y sueñas que eres el Príncipe Valiente. Despiertas con sudores fríos.
15:50 Sientes que es tu momento All-Bran, y vas a tu estantería a buscar algo de lectura para amenizar el proceso. Te cagas en los pantalones mientras te decides entre el tomo de Dragon Ball en el que Radix muere o en el que Goku se convierte en supersaiyano por primera vez.
16:00 Vas corriendo para la escuela de idiomas, pero por el camino, recuerdas que bastante inglés aprendes con los videojuegos que llegan sin doblar y te vas a la biblioteca a leer un comic de The Sandman.
17:00 Fascinado por la magnificencia de la obra que acabas de leer, te diriges a la tienda friki local a comentarla con el dueño, del cual eres íntimo.
17:15 Un niño que pasa por la tienda te pide que le cobres un juego de la PSP. Le dices que no trabajas allí, a lo cual el chico te mira con cara rara. Te planteas si no pasas demasiado tiempo en esa tienda.
17:30 Después de darte un paseo por la tienda, pides una fregona para limpiar las babas que has dejado delante del sable láser de 150 € que tienen expuesto.
17:40 Vuelves a tu casa. Decides ponerte a estudiar física un rato, pese a ser la única asignatura en que no te hace falta.
17:45 Suficiente estudio por hoy. Te conectas a Internet. Entras en todos los foros habidos y por haber, en los cual eres un usuario reconocido (o incluso moderador/administrador), mientras descargas las últimas series en V.O, te echas una partidilla al Half-Life 2, charlas por el messenger y ves unos capítulos de Naruto, todo ello a la vez.
22:00 Cinco minutos después, miras tu reloj y adviertes que han pasado cuatro horas. Decides dejar para más tarde el hacer una teoría sobre la aceleración del tiempo provocada por la navegación en Internet.
22:30 Cenas cualquier cosa y vuelves a tu cuarto/santuario.
23:00 Tu madre te grita que estudies algo. Estudias japonés.
23:30 Te acuestas abrazado a un cuchillo de juguete para intentar ponerselo rapidamente en el cuello a tu padre cuando te despierte, como hacen los heroes y tipos duros de la tele.
23:31 Finalmente te duermes. El futuro Rey del Mundo debe descansar.

102 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

No se si lo as exagerado pero as klabao lo ke acemos la malloria.
P.D. Eres un frikazo

Anónimo dijo...

¿xk todos los freaks daormimos la siesta?

Anónimo dijo...

a sido emocionante ver la apasionante vide de un friki no se que documental me gusto mas :si el de los cetaceos gignates seborreicos o este sobre los frikis ,te has olbidado de exponer sus formas de reproduccion mediante internetXD

P.D:vivan los frikis!!

Anónimo dijo...

es lo mismo ke ago yo!Con lo de naruto, el half life 2. Todooooooooo!!!!!

Anónimo dijo...

asdc_11@hotmail.com
wenas eres tonto tio¡ tienes ke estar mu empanao pa aser to lo k ases¡¡¡ tu cres ke estas normal? yo creia k estab mal pero tu............ ya ni comento¡¡
agregame.

Ladril dijo...

Aclarar que este texto es humorístico e inventado, no un documental realista de un día de mi vida, que no se de donde se saca la gente esas ideas.. ¬¬

Anónimo dijo...

pobrecito encima k ace un texto umoristiko...
yo lo veo sin mas normal yo no lo ago xo si lo aria no me avergonzaria inkluso me exaria unas risas...jajaaja venga!

Anónimo dijo...

bueno quería decirte unas cuantas cosas (que yo siendo friki creo que no tan del to bien) Para empezar y que sepas que iré siguiendo el orden en que lo has escrito
1-el friki nace no sirve de nada intentar ser quien no eres por que terminaras metiendeo la pata una cosa es que te guste todo eso pero si no lo eres o no puedes no te intentes convertir en uno sera horrible
2-Un friki hay en un momento determinado en el que se preocupa y mucho por su imagen ¡¡¡CUANDO VA A ENTRAR EN UN CONCURSO DE DISFRACES EN ALGUN EVENTO FRIKI!!!

y ya paso al día de un friki eso lo clavas excepto en las frases para romper el hielo si fueses a mi colegio (si por si no te bale con lo dicho que sepas que mi cruz y tortura del día a día es que estoy rodeada que "pijos"!!!!)en fin si dejese eso me mirarian aun más raro si es posible:P
3-lo de la minicadena ya me dirás como se programa que debe ser el único manual que me queda por leer (lo perdí y si me he leido el de la caalculadora científica) por cierto yo me despido de mi mejor amiga con un "see ya", "sayonara" o "matta ne" y saludo a mis familiares en japonés.
y si el relog es uno de mis grandes enemigos. lo pero es que es uno a los que aún no puedo vencer.
bueno para terminar me gustaría disculparme por utilizar tu blog para desahogarme un poco y si quieres hablar con migo mi nombre en narutouchiha es Lamu ( si , la "ele" es mayúscula

Anónimo dijo...

Joder tio eres mi dios solo que te ha faltado poner en lo del dia a dia las luchas con tu otro yo y buscar errores al señor de los anillos

P.D:yo en mi clase tambien estoy rodeado de pijos/as

Anónimo dijo...

mas o menos es lo ke hacemos pero yo personalmente me me paso la tarde comprandome figuras de resina como tu as dicho en la tienda de conmics hablando y y lo del japones es cierto me empollo los librs a porcierto mi msn por si algun freak se lo kiere apuntar es top_11_ct@hotmail.com y no os asusteis tengo 14 años y como se diria en klingon Aght PahT AhgT

Anónimo dijo...

K FRIKKI jajaj ps no es precisamente un día normal n mi vida.. pero por allí va el asunto jeje. ps si m levanto c musica d anime. Prendo la compu a las 6 am para en lo q m arreglo escuche Dir en grey principalmente..y anime y el resto de música japo tmbn... m voy al colegio pensando en q "estoy yendo a una skuela n tokyo o algo así" y ps siempre k llego saludo n japo...y la mitad de mis anotaciones están en japo tmbn....el ereceso es exclusivo p hablar de nime y scuchar música de lo mismo...m voy a mi casa y en el trayecto voy pensando en los próximos cosplays o si veo alguna ropa q sirva para lo mismo veo de onde saco dineros para comprarle $.$..o depende el día,observo como la gente m ve raro por llevar una peluca de kolor morado y un traje de gothic lolita, un kimono, o algún cosplay raro...Llego a mi casa...como, si amerita palillos, los uso.. termino, me pego a la compu a chatera y a "hacer" tareas... hasta las 9 o 10 mientras veo alguna serie y estudiando japo (si es viernes, la obsesion es mayor pk m pongo a estudiar kanji para los exámenes dl sábado) al mismo time...ceno, y m voy a dormir pensando en japón jajajaja

n fin...m extendí demas...

SAYONARAAA +_+ LoReNkAoRu +_+

Anónimo dijo...

mira tios!! estais como una puta cabra, todfo lo que haceis es una mierda, nunca bajais con vuestros amigos, os quedais 4 horas, estais locos, os creeis que ese mund vustro interior existe, ¿os creeis que sois super sayans o que?
estais locos, ojala os extingais, dais asco, hijos de puta, asquerosos de mierda!!!

Anónimo dijo...

Viva el 25 de mayo !

Anónimo dijo...

joder tio a k viene tanto insulto si no te gustamos los frikis no hace falta k nos vallas insultando k bn orgullosos de ser frikis!!!


(joder eres mi idolo como yo pero yo en principio voy corriendo al cole y llego 1 hora tarde

Anónimo dijo...

K bueno, me he reído mucho, en serio, brutal, además me siento identificado xDDDDD

Anónimo dijo...

k crack! casi como un dia mio, excepto k en las mesas solo dibujo personajes y le escribo mensajes a la limpiadora pa k no me los borre (ija perra). respecto a lo del boli, tengo un master y varios alumnos (lo k acen las clases aburridas). jaja y tengo un kunai debajo de la almohada por si acaso!!
muy muy bueno tio!

Anónimo dijo...

yo no soy friki ni muxo menos, pero de verdad hacen todo eso? no salen con sus amigos a dar una vuelta o algo? xk se invento el botellon? y de verdad puedes llegar a star orgulloso de algo asi?

Anónimo dijo...

lol, esto me lo leí hace algún tiempo en otra página (la frikipedia, seguramente), pero aún así no deja de gustarme. Es la hostia la forma en la que describe el día.

Saludos.

P.D: el botellón apesta (y no sólo a alcohol, precisamente).

Anónimo dijo...

Okay!!! Ste texto explica muchas cosas sobre los frikis..., Yo como friki raro... porke no concebo ninguna de estas habilidades, ya ke mi frikismo es mas de hacerme una llave espada tamaño real con madera pintarla, barnizarla disfrazarme de organizacion XIII... iR AL SALON MANGA, comprarme un reloj de full metal, etc, vamos ke lo unico ke me keda por hacer es ir a una tienda y jugar a rol lo ke pasa es ke tengo mucho lio con mi ekipo de futbol y de jugar al fifa y claro...

Anónimo dijo...

PUTO IGNORANTE: SE ESCRIBE VILMA.

Bhagavad dijo...

Pues yo voy a decir una cosita...un friki es mucho mas q eso...no solo ven naruto y goku, no solo van a tiendas de comics, no solo juegan a magic y half-life....

En fin, yo ya estoy cansado de estos relatos generalistas, y mucho mas contados tan mal y con tan poca gracia..por lo menos podrias haberme hecho reir en vez de hacerme sentir pena como la inmensa mayoria de blogueros "q se creen friki"

Un saludo y suerte pal futuro...

Anónimo dijo...

bueno dsd luego no me senti identificado cn esto xD. aunq si me rei mucho. dsgraciadamnte yo voi al cole rodeado d pijos q t discriminan al primer dfecto q tngas...y q se creen guais x ir de bote, piyarse una buena y star salidos 100%.... creo q si q soi friki xo por lo mnos nadie se a fijado. lo cierto sq tuve mala suert d ser asi.. friki y gay encima, q lo primero vale pero lo segundo nunk qise serlo!! menos mal q disimulo bn aunq no se asta qanto tiempo podre engañar a los q m rodean y a mi mismo... tantas cosas q pensar y solo tngo 14 años T.T
pd: no stoi orgulloso d ser lo q soi pero tp creo q sea tan malo, dspues d todo lo oculto por no dcepcionar a los d+.
pd2:perdon por desaogarme en ste post xD q llevaba qmado bastant tiempo y dcidi scribirlo n el primer sitio q veia :P

AVV dijo...

a mis 27 años, puedo decir que me estoy volviendo un frikki senior, viví el boomb de drangon ball, he tenido a un bueno amigo jedi, vi star trek toda mi infancia, me se todos los capitulos y he encontrado errores, me ha bajado musica de juegos de NES, SNES, etc..
Ahora veo Naruto con mi hija, saint seiya era muy paja, ensayé mi tiro de remate de Oliver millones de veces, nunca me salió, tengo juguetes hasta ahora, aun me compro lego technic, me gustaria ser cazador de mitos, he leido todos los libros de ESDLA, cuando niño jugaba a teletransportarme tocando mi pecho, cuando mi mamá me llamaba a comer me transformaba en trailer primero, se programar, puedo armar una pc con los ojos cerrados, leo comics, tengo muchos, los leo con mis hijas, los leo en voz alta y haciendo mimicas apra q se emocionen.

soy un friki y estoy feliz.

Anónimo dijo...

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